My Clumsiness Knows No Bounds

I think I’m the only person who can rip my toenail while walking across a level room with minimal obstacles. I was even wearing shoes!

Let’s back up a moment. (Careful there!)

My shoes slip a little and sometimes come off my heel when I’m walking, but this isn’t a new problem for me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stepped completely out of my shoes. Sometimes it’s because the heels gets caught in something (I like my stilettos) but that’s not a requirement.

So the other day I’m walking to the front of the office when I stepped completely out of my shoe. Here’s where it gets weird. In that split second I managed to step right back INTO my shoe, HOWEVER, my toenail got caught on the edge of the shoe and—you guessed it—ripped. After shouting and shrieking and flailing about, I checked for blood (none), then continued on my way.

I’ve since clipped them, thank you very much. I also noticed I’m sadly in need of a pedicure.

So, your turn. What hooeys have you pulled lately?

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20 Responses

  1. I’ve not pulled any recently, but can’t resist poking that toe. Sorry. :(

    *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke*

    Ah, memories of Hoo’s pus-foot.

    Adam

  2. I was reading this blog and trying to recreate the situation in described and ripped my toenail. Darn stiletto heels.

    • They are tricky. Even after years of practice I still have the occasional mishap.

  3. Yeah, you’re not the only one.

    I’ve broken the two smallest toes – with multiple fractures and multiple dislocations – a total of five times. From walking. Although once, it was from getting out of bed. :)

    I sprained my wrist. By standing up. Or waving.

    I trip on hair on the floor. A single strand.

    • Ouch! Fortunately my injuries tend to be mostly superficial. I hope you’re okay!

  4. I slammed my head in bi-fold doors, once.

  5. Eep, hope you’re feeling better! I’ve had a toenail rip off by my clumsiness and it hurts like hell. Glad you’re okay. :-)

  6. I’m not sure what I’ve done. I do things to myself constantly, but somehow forget about it. Right now, I have a softball-sized, black bruise on the back of my leg. Couldn’t tell you how it got there. At all. I think I’ve traumatized my body so much it’s given up and given me selective memory.

    • Oh noes. I hate UPBs, as we called them in college. :)

      • I can’t figure out what the “P” stands for.

      • Party. :)

  7. I’ve broken the same toe smashing into the same sofa leg 3 times. Now it won’t go sideways. You don’t really need your toe to move sideways, so it doesn’t matter much, except that I’m defective and my resale value has dropped.

    • You guys and your toes! Ouch!

      I’m trying to think of why a toe needs to move sideways and I can’t picture it.

  8. I once fell off the top of a 50 story building. Or, I may have been dreaming. Not sure.

  9. Ouchie!! Let’s see, what Hooey have I done recently. I touched a pan from the oven with my bare hand, even though it had just come out of the oven. So silly! I don’t know why I forgot!

    • OWW! I did that with a pan on the stove not too long ago.

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